So Jealous

How long is it going to be
Before I can be like you
Always seems to me
That you're doing just fine

I am so jealous
Of all you people
How can you break into a smile
without even thinking about anything?
What fuels the engine of your warmth?

I so badly want to be there
Be in a place where I am happy
Because I just don't feel that emotion anymore
Its like waking up in the middle of an endless night

Where is my morning?
Is there light at the end of this tunnel?
Where is my silver lining?
Will I forever fall through this channel?

Honestly, I don't think this rain is ever gonna stop
Even if it does, it will bring an icy chill in its wake
And I don't have the strength to live through that hell.
Spring may come, and find me, still, in a frozen lake

I am so jealous
Of all you people
How do you live out every day
without ever questioning anything
What fuels your desire to live?

Swansong?

I'm hiding from the Sun
But there's no where to run
I can't block it out
Even if i let my blood spout

Oh please let me out
Let go of your clout
You know this can't go on
I'm tired, I'm forlorn

And this just gets worse
It's unbearable, this curse
Let me go now, you have had your fun
Just let me rest, please tell me you're done

I want to meet you
Ask you what I ever did that was wrong
Embrace me, o'lord
Embrace me while I'm still strong

Another obituary

Did I think leaving this behind
would be so simple?
Even if my mind's eye went blind
How did I think this was gonna be so simple?

Did I think time
will make everything alright?
Even if I found what was mine,
Could things have gone back to all right?

Another day has gone by,
Did i think the bitterness would have died?
I always forget, it is me to whom I lie,
How did I think I could break in from so far outside?

The one thing that I know for sure
Is that a common thread runs through us
And we shared a moment that will live on within me, forever
No matter how many miles or ages come between us.

My Life : Chapter III

Feel like floating, just floating,
Go up and away,
To a place where no one can touch me
To a place where no one can hear me

Feel like screaming, just screaming,
So loud and clear,
So that everyone can hear me,
So that everyone can fear me

Feel like walking, just walking,
Into the sunset,
And leave all my baggage behind,
And leave all my thoughts behind

Feel like waking, just waking
In a new Sun,
And learn to think again,
And learn to learn again

Starcrossed

It's dark and scary in these mazes,
Of incomprehensible circles of thought,
Are these my own ideas?
Or have you really been through these phases

Phases that leave me high and dry,
It makes me question my actions of yore,
Oh how I lost everything to it,
Can't redeem myself now, so I cry

Cry i do, and also I ponder,
Over destiny and how it takes its course,
How sometimes you can just lose control
And stay in a trance, for years, I wonder

Wonder why, when we were starcrossed,
Why had we come to be?
What happens to all those dreams now
Somewhere, in your mind, they, are lost..

Second Best

In a far away and distant land,
I pack my bags, for I have to go home
I tell myself, yes maybe I can
Find you, and no longer be so lone

So, trembling, I arrive at your door,
You're radiant as ever, Blinding me out
You talk, I listen, My heart begins to soar,
But you're different, slowly you let it out

You miss someone, but that ain't me
You're thinking about him, all the time
Just when I thought," again, she likes me?",
You're singing about him, rhyme after rhyme.

That was my story when we first met,
It's still the same, and as I rest,
I cry in silence, my pillow is wet,
As i wonder, "Will I always be second best?"