So Jealous

How long is it going to be
Before I can be like you
Always seems to me
That you're doing just fine

I am so jealous
Of all you people
How can you break into a smile
without even thinking about anything?
What fuels the engine of your warmth?

I so badly want to be there
Be in a place where I am happy
Because I just don't feel that emotion anymore
Its like waking up in the middle of an endless night

Where is my morning?
Is there light at the end of this tunnel?
Where is my silver lining?
Will I forever fall through this channel?

Honestly, I don't think this rain is ever gonna stop
Even if it does, it will bring an icy chill in its wake
And I don't have the strength to live through that hell.
Spring may come, and find me, still, in a frozen lake

I am so jealous
Of all you people
How do you live out every day
without ever questioning anything
What fuels your desire to live?