I am Jack's flawed poetry

I am Jack's broken back

Broken from lifting the weight of the world,

From making others troubles mine,

Right from the time my fingers were curled

I am Jack's raised brows,

Raised from the skepticism towards all around me,

Raised from the trust no one could gain,

Right since when I could first see

I am Jack's seething anger,

Seething from the love I never got back,

from the love they never deserved,

Right since humanity they began to lack.

I am Jack's fried brain,

Fried from doing the right things,

From watching out for them while they smoked,

Right since they saw those Pretty Young Things.

I am Jack's misplaced sense of righteousness,

Misplaced due to lack of a frame of reference,

Due to the botched up anesthesia of my brain,

Ever since I sat on this fence.

I am Jack's diabolical mind,

Diabolical since Nineteen Eighty Six,

Since knowing what kind of a place this was,

You want to know  too? Come, let me get you a fix.

Something About You

I know we have only met,

But you feel it too, right?

Like this was meant to be, like it was set.

And this is exactly where we should be, its just right!

I know you think we're going too fast,

But when we're together, isnt it just great?

Like nothing could spoil it, not even the past,

We're here now, and its ours to take.

I know you think I'm a little crazy,

To fall like that, but isn't it fun?

To forget everything else, oh its so so  crazy,

To hold you close, and just run.

I know you're just a little scared,

That this dream doesn't come crashing down,

but baby, together we'll do this, our tomorrow is shared,

Just close your eyes, take my hand and come around.

I know there's something about you,

Which will make things alright,

I knew it before I met you,

I'll meet you and everything will be alright.

What Dreams May Come

The stars make gentle twinkling sounds,

The guys want to have a couple of  more rounds,

Have had enough for tonight, am drowned,

But will wait for my glass, still have to be found

Am driven home, like a helpless dog,

The house is all sand and fog,

Or so it seems to the inebriated mind

A smile breaks out coz I don't mind

Curl up in my bed like i was 6 years old

When stars were brighter, and stories were told

By mom and I let go in her arms

Where joy was found and there was calm

But now I'm grown up, I cant do that!

Who pretends to need caring, no i can't do that!

So i'll just play it to the stage, and be myself

When i want to run away, let go of myself

So i take refuge in my dreams

Where everything is great, or so it seems,

Everyone is how i want them to be, everyone is good

I know its not real, coz life is never that good

But I choose to live here, hour after hour, day after day,

Since its the one place I'm happy, and someday

Things may turn out that way, or they may not

But I'll always have my dreams, and no one can take them away.

Tantalus

With a mind as fickle as rain,
With a crazy heart for a brain,
I always thought I wanted new,
Never noticing, who I lost, I'm left with so few

Since long, I have craved movement and flight,
Thought I would go from darkness to light,
Hoped to find many new colors, new words,
Wished to travel to a thousand new worlds.

So I journeyed across hills and mountains,
And bathed in numerous rivers and fountains,
Finding new friends along the way,
But leaving the old ones, not letting them stay.

Have been a vagabond for years together,
Have soared in the skies, but can't fly forever,
Bring me down mother, as I have forgotten my land,
Before everyone I love, slip away like sand

Take me home now, as I have learnt my lesson,
I want to rest now, I have no more questions,
I know where I want to be, No more illusions,
Home is where I belong, no more delusions.

A kid always wants out, because he is on a leash,
Untie him early, let him know at least
For himself, the kind of place this is
Pretty damn Perfect, is just the kind of maze this is.

Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace

Echoes

The lone child is lost in the woods,

He calls out to his mother but all he hears is echoes

He is scared, He is hungry and he is thirsty

And his mother's face is the only thing he knows

Silence

A little distance away, the Creature takes notice

Ever so silently, she studies the little boy, has him in her sights,

She inches closer, moving closer to the kill,

There are children to be fed, and they won't sleep hungry tonight

Patience

The boy turns around and senses things are amiss

The Creature slows down, the boy has to be surprised.

The boy bends down, as if picking leaves off the ground

She makes her move, a flash of orange towards a kill so prized

Grace

The death was instant and almost painless,

The boy, blood dripping all over, stood over the Creature

Instinct had kicked in, the rocky edge was thrust in the creature's throat

The kill was clean, almost graceful, she let out a roar before life left her

Echoes

The creatures waited, small and helpless and weak.

Their ears pricked up, it was Mother, they could imagine her contorted face

They galloped towards her roar, saw the victor and his weapon,

They slinked closer, towards echoes, silence, patience and grace.

Rain

Softly humming that sweet seventy's song,
The doe-eyed girl walks alone all along,
Looking for company, on the narrow lane
She finds solace, she finds happiness in the pouring rain.

Her hair is dark, and thick and long,
She smiles all the time, as if nothing's wrong,
She finds new friends to keep herself sane,
But today she feels different, maybe there's some vodka and tonic in the rain.

She dreams of happiness, she wishes someone will come along
And sweep her off her feet, she wants to fall headlong
Into his arms, he'll give her strength, he will take away her pain,
She would no longer have to let out her tears in the rain.

But she is scared, what if, yet again, things go wrong?
He breaks her heart and hurts her when she's not strong?
She would have to pick up the pieces, flush them down the drain,
Curse him and miss him at the same time, and wish that it would rain.

She is Wet and cold, but her heart is still strong
And good and sweet and in due time someone will come along,
Until then, she'll make jokes, laugh aloud, play the game,
Find warmth in little drops from heaven, the girl whose name is Rain.

Epilogue - She And The Seeker Of Fortune

The seeker returned, on a rainy September evening,
He was gone many months, to satiate his yearning,
But he had found his light, and his trove of fortune
But he knew not, what he'd lost, a truth from which there was no running.

He tore apart the village looking for signs
Of his beloved, and all he found were a few lines
That she wrote before she left for all time,
And it was then that he knew, he had lost his mind.

"Sweet Darlin' I love you more than anything", she wrote
"But I needed you now to be with me", went on, her tear-stained note,
"We want different things in life, i now understand,
So I set you free from my bond, we are no longer betrothed"

"I'm setting sail for a distant land,  for I have to forget
Living with and without you, neither of which I regret,
We'll only be happy when we follow what we desire,
I know this is hard, and almost unfair, but this where our Sun sets"

The hero, unfazed, set on a new quest again,
To find his love, he braved icy winds, snow and rain,
Every night he tried to understand what her words meant
Until one evening, he found her, and then he felt mind-numbing pain.

She seemed radiant and happy in another man's arms,
She let her head rest on his shoulders, she looked so serene and calm..
The Hero, earlier white with rage, slowly broke into a smile,
And headed back to his ship, studying the lines on his palm.

She and the Seeker of Fortune

He sits atop a hill, weary and broken,
His patience is thinning, his will is shaken,
But his greed is too great, his need is too big,
He reminds himself and his body is awoken

He makes his way through the forest with his mace,
He thinks about his mate, and it brings a smile on his face,
Things will be better when he brings back eternal glory,
They shall live in riches together, there will be no dream left to chase.

It has been many days since he left her side,
He is sure she believes in him and is waiting with eyes wide,
She is the source of his strength, he knows she will be there
But he can't feel her pain that she had been trying to hide.

She was a seeker too and had found her treasure,
She wished he never leave her and be with her forever,
She didn't crave for riches or a life of comfort
But he wouldn't understand, he was always right, he was always sure.

She wished he would find what he was looking for,
Her happiness lay in his, She asked for strength from the Lord,
All who wander are not lost, she had heard,
She wished she could be with him, she let a tear hit the floor.

But it had been many nights since he had left her side,
Ominous thoughts had let her love and hope slide,
She had to let go, move on, kill her pain,
She took the leap, wishing she would see him on the other side.

Night Rider

The Sun is away, the moon is gone,
Out on the road, i'm the only one
I'm driving my car at a 100 miles an hour
I kill the light, because my mind doesn't scar

There are many twists and turns along the way,
Without a helmet or pads, I'm driving away
The wind whispers something in my ears,
"Let go of your baggage, and all your fears"

So i let go of the steering, fate shall have its way,
Life's not been that great anyway,
The Mustang veers off the road, flies off the cliff
The sound of twisting metal makes a beautiful riff.

As i lay on the ground, body broken and contorted,
I remember all who I loved and needed,
The people who fill my albums and my memories,
I take one last gasp, and then I find my peace.

Slowly i turn in my bed, bathed in sweat,
I wake up with a start, "Damn, this is not over yet?",
I pick up the shiny horse, and begin to run,
Rev the engine, step on the gas, drive into the setting sun..

Habit

There are times whem Im not one with the world,
There are days when I'm not who I am,
I feel blue, my record's broken, my peace is rare
And there is a room where I belong, and I'm not there.

I have been sitting on the fence for years now,
And I have understood that habits change
And no, that does not apply to me, because I'm different
Because I refuse to grow out of yesterday, because I hate my present

I want my habit back, back for good,
I want it all the time, when I'm awake, when I'm asleep
I don't care if its right or wrong,
I  cant live without it, its just been so long

Its my disease and its my cure
And it wont go away because I don't want it to
Its gone beyond the flesh, its in my bones now
And I cant stop at anything, no, not now!

There are times whem I'm not one with the world,
There are days when I'm not who I am,
This is just one of those nights when I dream
About it, and fill my head with a muffled scream.

A momentary lapse of reason

I can't find my way home
The needle of my compass spins round and round
I hold it in my hand, hoping for it to settle,
But my world has changed, there's little light and sound.

Life's just a blur, and I can't seem to focus
My shutter's too slow, every second seems so long,
And i'm just living it out without a purpose,
Turning my agony into words, into a song.

This is all my doing
And I wish it were a momentary lapse of reason,
I guess it wasn't my mind doing the thinking then,
Something deep inside took over, and plunged me into oblivion

And no matter how hard I try,
The past always catches up, burning everything in its wake
All the sand castles that I build over so many days and nights
Get washed away, just like that. My life is so fake.

Maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home,
Because I think I understand love better now, thanks to you.
It's not about how much I love you or care about you
It about how far you are willing to go to forget me and find someone new


(The title comes from a Pink Floyd album, the first line of the last stanza is the name of Stereophonics song)

The Discovery

You may look different,
But you have the same sparkling eyes,
You may not quite know each other,
I guess this is another conspiracy of the skies!

Form Aerosmith to John Mayer,
You groove to the same tunes,
Whether its the OC or Gilmore Girls,
The same show's on in your rooms!

You wear the same cologne,
You have the same hair,
You have the same smile,
All this is so unfair!

I guess this is what they call
Finding your own, very special "type"
Or does my mind make this up?
And try and find you, amidst all this hype!

Trying to fill the void you've left.
Does this happen to everyone?
Or is this a good thing
Am I inching closer to finding "the one"?

I guess the only way to find that out
Is to keep searching, within and without,
You've always been hard to get,
Guess Love won't give in without a bout!

Flashback to that Mad Season

I vividly remember that spring,
When you and I first had that thing
For each other and everything around us,
Seemed happy and ready to sing.

Chatting soundlessly on those long walks,
That playful fighting, throwing rocks
At each other, charting out the future,
Our future, in all those talks.

You took me to places I had never known,
When not together, being glued to the phone,
I could feel your heartbeat from miles away,
Magic is nothing but love, I had then known.

You'd knot your fingers with mine
As we walked, arms entwined,
With our entire lives in front of us,
I never cared to look for a warning sign.

As i reminisce about that February Sun,
I realize there are so many things I could have done,
In hindsight, everything has a remedy, a cure
But even if I had a chance, I'd change nothing about that mad season.

Undead Existence

Im free and I wonder what went wrong
where, how and why did it take so long?
For me to understand the universal song
"the world's always right and you are always wrong"

Im twenty five and Im only thinking
My life's over, but how are other's doing?
They're all in their cages, leashed and praying
"Make this fast, this is much too excruciating!"

It's been twenty years on this planet
And more dying, felt I haven't
Writing code,making the screen go white to violet
Its insane, want to make the world go silent

Five years ago, and I just wanna write
About the birds, the bees and the soaring kite
But daddy is broke and mom has lost her sight
So i'll do what they say though I know it's not right

Now I'm ten and I wanna fly in the sky
But Mom says its too dangerous, i could die
I know its just a bloody lie
But little can I do but sit and cry

Im just five and Im just thinking
Life is so fun, life is so exciting
Don't think twice before doing anything
Cause I don't care, let the school bell keep ringing

The Violet Sky

The heavens turn a deep violet,
Showing us for the last time, the color of His robe
The earth below, cracks apart
All is lost, nothing's left of this globe

It happened when the seas were still blue,
But there were no fish coz we killed them all
We grew mean, greedy, selfish and small,
So He threw us over where nothing could break our fall

We painted our own skies so black,
The brotherhood was lost and lines were drawn,
To fuel the race of who's the wisest,
And in every nation mushroom clouds were born

Our home once used to be green,
But that was a thing of the past,
today was all about land and gold
and killing all others and having the means to last

Blood, pure and crimson, once ran in our veins,
But that got drained, in the money rain,
Forget Earth, we left our own kin behind,
To grab the loot, we were no longer sane

Alas, all that's left now is white
Light, and we fall through infinite space
I hope we remember this lesson tomorrow
When a seed takes birth, in a new race.

So Jealous

How long is it going to be
Before I can be like you
Always seems to me
That you're doing just fine

I am so jealous
Of all you people
How can you break into a smile
without even thinking about anything?
What fuels the engine of your warmth?

I so badly want to be there
Be in a place where I am happy
Because I just don't feel that emotion anymore
Its like waking up in the middle of an endless night

Where is my morning?
Is there light at the end of this tunnel?
Where is my silver lining?
Will I forever fall through this channel?

Honestly, I don't think this rain is ever gonna stop
Even if it does, it will bring an icy chill in its wake
And I don't have the strength to live through that hell.
Spring may come, and find me, still, in a frozen lake

I am so jealous
Of all you people
How do you live out every day
without ever questioning anything
What fuels your desire to live?